Has anybody ever thought about what, really, is the oldest profession?
I've read somewhere about a doctor, an engineer, and a lawyer who were arguing about that exact topic.
The doctor argued that his profession was the oldest, as on the sixth day, God created man and then fashioned woman out of his rib. That makes God the earliest surgeon, he said.
"No," the engineer countered. "Come to think of it, before that, God created the world out of all that chaos and confusion. That would make him the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is older than medicine."
At that, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes, but who do you think created all the chaos and confusion?"
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And speaking of professions, here's one about a senior accountant at a prestigious accounting firm who was hailed as a genius by his colleagues.
The reason? He knows all there is to be learned about accounting. He could answer any question given to him about accounting. He knew all the tax laws (and how to get around them).
But like all geniuses, this senior CPA displayed one weird habit. Everyday at the start of his working day, he would unlock his desk drawer, open it up and look inside it for a few seconds, then shut the drawer and lock it again. This puzzled all of his co-workers, but no one dared breach office etiquette and snoop inside the drawer. Still, this habit of his had become somewhat of a legend inside the office.
Until one day, this senior CPA reported being sick, and one junior accountant could control himself no longer. Taking a letter opener, he sneaked up to the senior accountant's desk and carefully opened the drawer that had attracted so much attention. What would be inside it? he thought. A pornographic picture, perhaps?
When he finally opened it, however, all he found was a large piece of manila paper with these words written in large, bold letters:
"DEBITS ON THE LEFT, CREDITS ON THE RIGHT."
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Some witticisms my friend shared with me on social media:
Kahapon ay Int'l Women's Day. Ngayon naman ay para sa kanilang mga mister.
Today is Husband Appreciation Day.
Let us keep a two-minute silence and read some quotes of great personalities:
“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” – Al Gore
“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Barack Obama
“When you are in love, wonders happen. But once you get married, you wonder: what happened?” – Steve Jobs
And the best one is…
“Marriage is a beautiful forest where Brave Lions are killed by Beautiful Deers.” - Brad Pitt
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Before getting married, the groom usually says to his future in-laws: “I will keep your daughter happy for the rest of her life.”
But have you ever wondered if a girl says the same thing to her future in-laws?
No – because women don’t tell lies!
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If a wife wants her husband’s attention, she just has to look sad and uncomfortable.
If a husband wants his wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable and happy.
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A philosopher husband once said: “Every wife is a ‘mistress’ of her husband: ‘miss’ for the first year, and ‘stress’ for the rest of their married life!”
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A husband is like a split-type air conditioning unit: loud outside the house, but quiet inside!
#WeTakeAStand #OpinYon #ARayJuniaColumn #Halakhak #Chaosandconfusion