The second biggest lie you can hear from a man, aside from “I am not having an affair,” is “I am not running for office.”
With over six months away before the official filing of candidacies for the 2025 midterm elections, here’s a piece of advice: always look out for those who insist that they are not contemplating running for public positions.
Trust me. They’re often the ones who will make a surprise appearance at the filing.
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Speaking of lies, there was once a husband who stepped on one of those penny scales that tell a person’s fortune and weight.
“Hey, look at this,” he said to his wife as he showed her a printed card from the scale. “It says here that I’m energetic, bright and resourceful.”
His wife replied, “Yeah, and it has your weight all wrong, too.”
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A secret of married life: the most effective way to remember your spouse’s birthday is to forget it once.
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There were once two women who trooped to the police station to file a report about a missing husband.
When asked about the description of her missing husband, the first woman said, "He's 35 years old, six foot four, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The second woman objected, "No! Your husband is five foot four, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The first woman replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
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And then there was this man who, on a Friday payday afternoon, instead of going home, decided to stay out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally got home Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife who showered him with a tirade for nearly two hours.
Finally, his wife stopped nagging and said to him, “Look, how would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”
He replied, “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.
On Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.
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